Posts Tagged ‘Hepatitis C’

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Recovery is hell, learning new coping skills with a dual diagnosis is learning to walk all over again.

My son is a strong personality like myself. We are too much alike in many ways which is probably why we argue the way we do. As an adult he and I share a communication neither of us understands, like twins with their own language.

Three days ago he was yelling, lashing out with fists and broke something during our battle of words. I already have holes in my ceiling and a door. Yesterday a more reasonable human, he said “I’m always going to be an addict mom, I have an addictive personality.” I feel his frustration because I don’t know where to go from here either. He says it’s my fault he is here in my home without a job or income and no way to go forward. I told him one more physical outburst I will phone the police. My husband provides him room and board but son thinks he shouldn’t help out financially, wow.

He is still swearing off any medical treatment for his active Hepatitis C. Without marijuana he is nauseous, suffers from insomnia that keeps him awake 3-4 days, and in pain. He gave up on doctor visits when he was offered chemo’ to treat his illness but not pain relief for his other illnesses due to his having been an addict. I don’t know what the answers are anymore. I “do” know he needs to learn new coping skills and he does too but where to go and the cost of the one after care program in county is daunting and only 5 days duration as an outpatient.

Keeping enough food in the house for all is a challenge and nights I feed the men, telling them I’m not hungry so we have enough food. I eat a piece of fruit or toast or a yogurt. Our original agreement while he was so sick in the hospital was for him to move home, recover his very bad health with medical treatment and get off drugs. To begin over.

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It’s winter doldrum time. My 28 year old son has been sober now awhile but thats all. He eats, sleeps, stays in his room 24-7 coming out only when we go to bed. He’s depressed and all I can do is suggest to him what to do.

He’s filled the hole in himself drugs no longer fill with distorted thoughts and negativity. All reason has gone out the window. In the meantime we had to fly home to husband’s country when he lost a parent. I have a depressed husband and son now under one roof and they hate each other.

Not a great update. Son has no income and no car and his 2nd try at disability was rejected. His HepC isn’t active now but his negativity is just as bad.

Getting clean is only 1/3 of the battle. Now somehow he needs to pick himself up and get participating in life before his stepfather throws him out.

The extreme cold dark winter weather isn’t helping. Son is on no medications by choice, good meds included. I don’t know what happens with his HepC because he isn’t seeing doctors of any kind.

To you people considering having children, that they will grow up and you’ll get some part of an adult life back, think long and hard. I’m nearly 52 with my own plans that haven’t been realized and Now I feel overwhelmed and trapped.

This is the year my husband and I are supposed to move overseas as in our plans for retirement. I don’t know how that can happen if son doesn’t help himself! Since returning from abroad 2 months ago we laid down rules and informed my son we will be leaving come June. It’s so frustrating!

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The mountain was moved, not all at once of course, but it moved. It’s been awhile since posting. The gap wasn’t from forgetfulness or neglect. It’s been due to work. Work in every aspect of healing.

Son is sober and has been so for awhile. It’s been nearly one year since he received his prognosis of 15 months to two years. He looks better. His mood is better. He has gained 30 pounds since last Christmas when we brought him home from the hospital.

Recent tests show his liver levels are better but it changes on a dime as his body is still healing and trying to recover from 8 years of neglect and drug abuse. Just two Ibuprofen for a headache throws him into fits of nausea, vomiting and liver pain. His Hep C is active.

Have you ever seen a former smoker who is obnoxiously preaching the ills of smoking after quitting? My son does the same regarding drug addiction on and offline, but I smile. The important thing is he’s quit. Anything after is a blessing.

He is still far from being better physically. Baby steps the doctor calls it. Son’s days are rest, eat and more rest. The holidays for us all are a bit happier this season. He will see his younger sister for the first time in three years on Thanksgiving, lord knows when anyone ever saw him sober.

They are about to meet a very different son.

"Let me die."

Son is in a vicious cycle of nausea and vomiting daily all day as Hepatitis engulfs his body. Denial get’s you dead. In order to forgo his stomach and treat the pain and nausea he must see a doctor but refuses. Arguing, all is pointless with anyone who refuses treatment. Our outdated Constitution gives him the right to do nothing while family can only watch. When an individual becomes unconscious only then can paramedics proceed. Last night was that reality but son never passed out so no assistance was rendered when they arrived. It was a nightmare on camera in our small town once word got out.

 

 

The battle still wages but the playing field is leveled. Much to say and no time to say it now but being a mother I will never give up on son or die trying. For the moment peace, or a form of it fills the home we share for now. Peace well deserved. Back sooner than later here.

Never give up.

 

 

 

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We were told by son’s doctor that my son’s prognosis if his medical condition doesn’t turn around is 2 maybe 3 years because he also now has secondary illnesses. Virology Treatment could possibly cap off or best case scenario put the Hep C virus into nonactive but he will always carry it. This would be the best case scenario. Son is refusing treatment he says because he doesn’t want to be ill anymore from medication ontop of already being sick daily, so for the moment I am concentrating on keeping him comfortable and rested. The doctor said no physical activity. Staying sane is optional for me as I continue searching for more info and avenues of help because he has NO medical insurance so nobody will treat him anyway. Once again I am applying him for Medicaid. A new development making things difficult is my other half was laid off today after 3 years with his company in management. Losing our medical insurance is now a hardship on my son as I am only able to care for him by taking medication to make me functional, I have R. A.

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Yesterday was our 2nd journey out of state to son’s doctor in the city he moved from. The results are not good, his liver function tests came back showing more depressed, his urine examination showed signs of leucine and tyrosine crystals yet the hospital would not admit him though he could fall into coma at any given moment. THIS is the American dysfunctional healthcare system. I fought back tears and remained calm while calling my local hospital to see if he could be admitted with us bringing his medical records. My hope was short lived.

Given the fact son only has state minor medical help from his home state and we are waiting for approval of him applying here, it’s the only way he can currently get treatment. Yesterday was his 1st day of being sober, aka no needle. Happily so we were able to wean him down to a tiny amount of Oxy’ per day in the last few weeks, his last injection was 15mg two days ago and yesterday morning was an oral 10mg. This morning he will take his last dose of a 10mg Oxy.’ What makes the difference in son’s being weaned thus far off I.V. Oxy’ usage is his determination to not use needles anymore. Physical-wise yes it’s not been easy by far and the last week I have spent many a day holding his head while he vomits and shakes uncontrollably but luckily these episodes were short lived and not daily.

Some days he just feels like hell and I sit with him while he cries. Yesterday was a better day of sorts. The difficult part is with son’s liver failing and the Severe Hepatitis taking it’s toll son is in much pain. His current doctors releases are on the way here which we will sign and fax back so the pain clinic in my state along with a new Hep C and liver doctor can start treatment soon we hope. On the home front all I can do is try to keep him rested and fed. Yesterday he had only managed to put on 2 pounds since Thanksgiving and his liver levels are slightly better but still within the danger zone of Acute Liver Failure.

Adding insult to injury, my husband was laid off last week suddenly after 3 years of working at his company without warning.

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Son is trying very hard to help be weaned off the Oxy’s. He has been sick and has headaches from this uncomfortable process but he is now down to 20mg in morning and 10mg evening which is much better than where he was Thanksgiving. Wednesday we make a trip back to the city 2 hours away to get his medical records to give the pain clinic here that he may begin going to if they will have him. Next he needs to be hooked up to a new Hep C doctor. It’s painful to see him suffer but here he is safe.

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