Posts Tagged ‘drug addict’


The mountain was moved, not all at once of course, but it moved. It’s been awhile since posting. The gap wasn’t from forgetfulness or neglect. It’s been due to work. Work in every aspect of healing.

Son is sober and has been so for awhile. It’s been nearly one year since he received his prognosis of 15 months to two years. He looks better. His mood is better. He has gained 30 pounds since last Christmas when we brought him home from the hospital.

Recent tests show his liver levels are better but it changes on a dime as his body is still healing and trying to recover from 8 years of neglect and drug abuse. Just two Ibuprofen for a headache throws him into fits of nausea, vomiting and liver pain. His Hep C is active.

Have you ever seen a former smoker who is obnoxiously preaching the ills of smoking after quitting? My son does the same regarding drug addiction on and offline, but I smile. The important thing is he’s quit. Anything after is a blessing.

He is still far from being better physically. Baby steps the doctor calls it. Son’s days are rest, eat and more rest. The holidays for us all are a bit happier this season. He will see his younger sister for the first time in three years on Thanksgiving, lord knows when anyone ever saw him sober.

They are about to meet a very different son.


The battle still wages but the playing field is leveled. Much to say and no time to say it now but being a mother I will never give up on son or die trying. For the moment peace, or a form of it fills the home we share for now. Peace well deserved. Back sooner than later here.

Never give up.




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Yesterday was our 2nd journey out of state to son’s doctor in the city he moved from. The results are not good, his liver function tests came back showing more depressed, his urine examination showed signs of leucine and tyrosine crystals yet the hospital would not admit him though he could fall into coma at any given moment. THIS is the American dysfunctional healthcare system. I fought back tears and remained calm while calling my local hospital to see if he could be admitted with us bringing his medical records. My hope was short lived.

Given the fact son only has state minor medical help from his home state and we are waiting for approval of him applying here, it’s the only way he can currently get treatment. Yesterday was his 1st day of being sober, aka no needle. Happily so we were able to wean him down to a tiny amount of Oxy’ per day in the last few weeks, his last injection was 15mg two days ago and yesterday morning was an oral 10mg. This morning he will take his last dose of a 10mg Oxy.’ What makes the difference in son’s being weaned thus far off I.V. Oxy’ usage is his determination to not use needles anymore. Physical-wise yes it’s not been easy by far and the last week I have spent many a day holding his head while he vomits and shakes uncontrollably but luckily these episodes were short lived and not daily.

Some days he just feels like hell and I sit with him while he cries. Yesterday was a better day of sorts. The difficult part is with son’s liver failing and the Severe Hepatitis taking it’s toll son is in much pain. His current doctors releases are on the way here which we will sign and fax back so the pain clinic in my state along with a new Hep C and liver doctor can start treatment soon we hope. On the home front all I can do is try to keep him rested and fed. Yesterday he had only managed to put on 2 pounds since Thanksgiving and his liver levels are slightly better but still within the danger zone of Acute Liver Failure.

Adding insult to injury, my husband was laid off last week suddenly after 3 years of working at his company without warning.

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Son is trying very hard to help be weaned off the Oxy’s. He has been sick and has headaches from this uncomfortable process but he is now down to 20mg in morning and 10mg evening which is much better than where he was Thanksgiving. Wednesday we make a trip back to the city 2 hours away to get his medical records to give the pain clinic here that he may begin going to if they will have him. Next he needs to be hooked up to a new Hep C doctor. It’s painful to see him suffer but here he is safe.

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Jesus Hates Zombies

Today brought a phone call I was happy to be on the other end of. My son has made it through his 8th day of “drying out” and (knock wood) feels much better this morning. Two of his worst days we resorted to Methadone in the beginning. He has eaten, had his 1st shower in a week and his physical illness of getting the poison out of his body have subsided, at least for the last 12 hours. 8 days he has felt real emotion for the first time in months this time.

A hard core Heroin addict obviously takes longer but my son luckily hadn’t made it that far. He used but was using a combination of drugs and in the last 12 months had begun shooting up when he could get it. An addict is an addict however and I’m hoping by removing from the area where his supplies were easily had to the middle of nowhere this will somehow work to save his life.

He feels better, his mood is guarded but better, the last week have been hell on he and I with me on the phone supporting him 7-9 calls a day while his monster screamed at me from inside and made him want to die. The phone is his life line to me and to staying alive and together, sometimes we stay connected all day we have gotten him this far.

Please if there is a God let it last this time. It’s wonderful to hear my “son” on the other end of the telephone and not the monster inside in control. He wants to be straight so bad. I’ll continue from yesterday after this post but had to log this happy moment for he and I. He is out of state 1.5 hours away with his last friend in the world, also a long recovering addict and today is a giant step for him.

Everyone in his family has given up on him. The don’t call him nor answer his calls and I understand why but he needs to know someone loves him, he is still there inside and I know it, I’m his mom. I will not give up on him. Being screamed at on the phone all hours of a day and night are worth keeping my child alive.

Let this last until we get him into the state health care system..please.

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