Posts Tagged ‘brothers’

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Son becoming sober has been 10% us as parents and 90% himself working to get and remain there. It’s been over a year or more now and we have watched his life take on a total change of him finally realizing healthier decisions. Eating, who he associates with, how he feels about himself, how he views and interacts with those around him has changed for the positive. Keep in mind there are also health and mental issues at play. For a long time now he and we have been “stuck”in his recovery process. As his mother I cannot solely put into place the strong support system needed to help him learn new coping skills to not fall back into old ones. Though I have reached out continuously to outside sources none have helped I have gotten no answers. In the years of his drug addiction as in most, his extended family members have faded into the darkness that swallowed him whole out of fear and not knowing what to do.

During son’s childhood he and his brother, 2 years older had always had close ties with their father’s family. Both my son’s lived in the same city as adults during the years of son’s active spiral of self destruction but seeing this, family were unwilling to offer help except for his older brother. I believe to this day that the my older son kept his brother from certain death. Since younger son’s journey living home fighting to get his life back he has always pined to have his father and older brother back into his life. He will never tell them, but they are who he loves and respects most and has mourned losing due to his own actions.

Imagine my delight when after many years son picked up his phone just before Easter, calling his “dad” and talking over an hour, answering his father’s questions, telling him how sorry he was for his actions as an active addict yet thanking his father for still being there. Next he phoned his estranged older brother followed in days by taking the train to see him for the first time in 2 years. I heard the visit went well and have noticed rekindling those bonds has changed him profoundly, giving him hope and strength as he moves forward again. I want nothing less than to have both of my sons together in our life, it’s been too long since we have all been family.

After years beginning his journey a new door opened.

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Happy

Yesterday was son’s second day of his Celexa and he phoned me later in the day to exclaim what a wonderful day he had experienced. His brother and myself are the only family members who stay in touch with him, we are his support system of sorts. It brought tears to my eyes to hear him gleefully tell me about a scooter ride he and his older brother had taken in the city together. The two live in the same 4 block area but rarely have been able to just be brothers and goof off. My older son was pleased to see his brother happy, explaining that he talked too much!

The milestone was not just the moments he experienced true happiness but also telling his back doctor on this day he needed no pain medication which raised the doctors eyebrows. I hope he isn’t jumping too fast with his medical. Son was afraid of relapsing if he had the Oxy’s  in his apartment.

Today I haven’t yet reached him, I know he had a meeting this morning regarding his applying for temporary disability benefits until he can be stabilized. I have been phoning him and he me a few calls per day. I am hoping for today to be his 3rd day feeling good and taking his medication whereas he did lower his dose slightly because he said it made him feel “jittery,” .. this mother has her fingers crossed until I hear from him.

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