Archive for the ‘Life Events’ Category

Happy

Yesterday was son’s second day of his Celexa and he phoned me later in the day to exclaim what a wonderful day he had experienced. His brother and myself are the only family members who stay in touch with him, we are his support system of sorts. It brought tears to my eyes to hear him gleefully tell me about a scooter ride he and his older brother had taken in the city together. The two live in the same 4 block area but rarely have been able to just be brothers and goof off. My older son was pleased to see his brother happy, explaining that he talked too much!

The milestone was not just the moments he experienced true happiness but also telling his back doctor on this day he needed no pain medication which raised the doctors eyebrows. I hope he isn’t jumping too fast with his medical. Son was afraid of relapsing if he had the Oxy’s  in his apartment.

Today I haven’t yet reached him, I know he had a meeting this morning regarding his applying for temporary disability benefits until he can be stabilized. I have been phoning him and he me a few calls per day. I am hoping for today to be his 3rd day feeling good and taking his medication whereas he did lower his dose slightly because he said it made him feel “jittery,” .. this mother has her fingers crossed until I hear from him.

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Jesus Hates Zombies

Today brought a phone call I was happy to be on the other end of. My son has made it through his 8th day of “drying out” and (knock wood) feels much better this morning. Two of his worst days we resorted to Methadone in the beginning. He has eaten, had his 1st shower in a week and his physical illness of getting the poison out of his body have subsided, at least for the last 12 hours. 8 days he has felt real emotion for the first time in months this time.

A hard core Heroin addict obviously takes longer but my son luckily hadn’t made it that far. He used but was using a combination of drugs and in the last 12 months had begun shooting up when he could get it. An addict is an addict however and I’m hoping by removing from the area where his supplies were easily had to the middle of nowhere this will somehow work to save his life.

He feels better, his mood is guarded but better, the last week have been hell on he and I with me on the phone supporting him 7-9 calls a day while his monster screamed at me from inside and made him want to die. The phone is his life line to me and to staying alive and together, sometimes we stay connected all day we have gotten him this far.

Please if there is a God let it last this time. It’s wonderful to hear my “son” on the other end of the telephone and not the monster inside in control. He wants to be straight so bad. I’ll continue from yesterday after this post but had to log this happy moment for he and I. He is out of state 1.5 hours away with his last friend in the world, also a long recovering addict and today is a giant step for him.

Everyone in his family has given up on him. The don’t call him nor answer his calls and I understand why but he needs to know someone loves him, he is still there inside and I know it, I’m his mom. I will not give up on him. Being screamed at on the phone all hours of a day and night are worth keeping my child alive.

Let this last until we get him into the state health care system..please.

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My second child and son was born on Memorial Day amidst the city having a large holiday parade compete with horns and beating drums while I clenched the bed rails in the new birthing bed of our local hospital trying not to do what my body wanted,  to push.

It of course was not a usual birth.

The baby’s heartbeat dropped too low, I was directed to lay on my left side in such an awkward position with a leg held high into the air to lessen pressure on the umbilical cord I nearly fell off the bed but it worked.

Now the baby became lodged at his shoulders while emerging and in order to bring him fully into the world his left arm was purposely dislocated, painful to me and more so my newborn son who emerged into the world at 1:03 pm screaming in pain.

I remember at the moment his tiny arm was reset at the shoulder by the doctor the delivery room lights flickered as thunder clapped suddenly nearly all at the same moment and thinking what a fitting ending, not realizing it was possibly an omen of things to come.

My little innocent child, unspoiled by the world with dark thick curly locks of hair and angelic face laid asleep hours later by my side peaceful as I cradled his little body close to me with happy exhaustion.

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